Christian hospitality – Week 1 training session

Here is the video from our first session:

What is Christian hospitality and what does it feel like to be made truly welcome?

Of all the recommendations in Divine Renovation, improving our welcome is the single easiest and most straightforward change to make.  After all, we all know what it is like to be made welcome into someone’s home and we also know what it’s like to be made to feel unwelcome.  No-one wants this for our churches, but sometimes we can get too comfortable and forget to look out for newcomers.

If we are to do this properly, there’s a lot to think about. At one end of the spectrum, we could give out hymn books with more of a smile, but if we’re to take this seriously, we really need to be strategic and think about how welcoming fits into lots of aspects of parish life, from websites to car parks, from Mass on Sundays to everything else we do.

Activity:

Friendly and welcoming churches

Give your church a mark out of 10 for being friendly.
Give your church a mark out of 10 for being welcoming.
What’s the difference?  Have a look at this video.  It’s really an advert for the book we’ve used to create this course, so excuse the hard sell at the end, but it makes a very good point:

Revisit the friendly and welcoming marks you gave your church.  Would you change your marks at all?

Biblical hospitality

It’s important that we recognise that hospitality isn’t an add on, but central to our sense of community and who we are.  We can start by reflecting on two very different examples of hospitality in the Bible.
Our title, Entertaining Angels, comes from this quote in the Book of Hebrews:

“Remember always to welcome strangers, for by doing this some people have entertained angels without knowing it”
Hebrews 13.2

Hebrews is a long reflection on the Old Testament, and this verse is referring to a number of encounters with angels that appear in Genesis and Judges, of which this one is the most famous

The Lord appeared to Abraham by the oaks of Mamre, as he sat at the entrance of his tent in the heat of the day. He looked up and saw three men standing near him. When he saw them, he ran from the tent entrance to meet them, and bowed down to the ground. He said, “My lord, if I find favour with you, do not pass by your servant. Let a little water be brought, and wash your feet, and rest yourselves under the tree.  Let me bring a little bread, that you may refresh yourselves, and after that you may pass on—since you have come to your servant.”
Genesis 18:1-5

 

Activity:

What qualities of hospitality can we see in this passage?  What can we draw on for ourselves?

  • Enthusiasm and joy – Abraham rushed from the entrance of his tent to the
    visitors
  • He reverenced them -bowing down to the ground – showing great respect
  • Hospitality – He encourages them to stay – offering food and drink

An alternative approach:

Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
Matthew 19:13

Activity:

Does this feel familiar?  How welcoming are our churches of difference?

What does good welcome look like?

Hospitality isn’t an add on, it is absolutely central to our communities.  But when we think about the teams that we need at Mass on Sunday, e.g. Eucharistic Ministers, readers, children’s liturgy, coffee, where do the welcomers come?  It feels like an optional extra.

Actually, it’s a ministry of skill, welcome and tact, as Fr James Mallon says:
“The question of how the marginalised feel when entering our churches is one that haunts me.  How welcomed does a person feel who does not look like us, sound like us, dress like us and smell like us?  How does the person who is struggling with mental illness feel when entering our churches?  How does the person living an alternative lifestyle or struggling with sin and brokenness feel?… It’s not just a question of treating “these people” the same as everyone else; they are the guests of honour.”

Reflection: how does this make you feel?

Mystery worshipper – how to find out what it’s like to come to your church as a stranger

Thom S Rainer, in his book “Becoming a welcoming church” surveyed and interviewed hundreds of people to find out why they did not return to a particular church.  Here are the top ten responses:

1. Greeting time in church was unfriendly- church members were good at greeting each other but not so much new people.
2. Unfriendly church members – don’t speak to guests because they don’t know them, and prefer to withdraw into holy huddles
3. Unsafe and unclean children’s areas
4. No place to get information on the church
5. Bad church website
6. Poor signage
7. Insider church language
8. Boring or bad church services
9. Members telling guests they were in the wrong pew or chair “you’re sitting in
my pew!”
10. Dirty facilities

On the other hand, the positives were:

1. Someone asked the guest to sit with her
2. People introduced themselves to the guest
3. There was clear signage
4. There was a clearly marked welcome centre
5. The kids loved the children’s area
6. The children’s area was secure and sanitary
7. Guest parking was clearly visible
8. Church did not have a stand-and-greet
9. Members were not pushy
10. Guest card simple to complete

Activity:

Take a moment to consider:

  • What are the characteristics of your church, good or bad?
  • Have you ever spoken to a guest about their first time visit to your church?
  • How do you think a guest feels in your service?